While adopting a child can provide a parent with many joys throughout the course of their life, Doug McClain also understands the fear and trepidation that can come with the task of telling the child they are adopted. It is a difficult situation for all involved, but by following these pointers you will be able to make it easier to handle and can continue providing the love and support the child has come to expect.
Don’t Leave It to Late
In the majority of cases, it is best to tell a child that they have been adopted fairly early on in their lives, rather than waiting until they have started to mature. Wait until they are around 6-8 years old, which outs them at an age where they will be able to understand the concept without leaving them feeling as though they have been living a false life by not having been told early enough.
Don’t Treat It Like a Dirty Word
You should be very open and clear about adoption when you make the choice to tell the child. Do not treat it as some something that needs to be hushed up and hidden away, as this will only contribute to feelings of rejection and distrust that can build over time. Instead, be open to answering any questions the child may have at any time and be sure to provide them with support whenever they need it.
Explain How Loved They Are
Doug McClain notes that it is perfectly natural for a child to become confused or angry upon receiving the news that they were adopted, so it is crucial that the parent reinforces the fact that they love the child and that they are a part of the family.
Describe how excited you were when you made the choice to adopt and how proud you are of the person they are developing into. In short, do whatever you can to show the child that they are loved and help them to navigate the feelings they experience upon being told.
Don’t Leave It to Late
In the majority of cases, it is best to tell a child that they have been adopted fairly early on in their lives, rather than waiting until they have started to mature. Wait until they are around 6-8 years old, which outs them at an age where they will be able to understand the concept without leaving them feeling as though they have been living a false life by not having been told early enough.
Don’t Treat It Like a Dirty Word
You should be very open and clear about adoption when you make the choice to tell the child. Do not treat it as some something that needs to be hushed up and hidden away, as this will only contribute to feelings of rejection and distrust that can build over time. Instead, be open to answering any questions the child may have at any time and be sure to provide them with support whenever they need it.
Explain How Loved They Are
Doug McClain notes that it is perfectly natural for a child to become confused or angry upon receiving the news that they were adopted, so it is crucial that the parent reinforces the fact that they love the child and that they are a part of the family.
Describe how excited you were when you made the choice to adopt and how proud you are of the person they are developing into. In short, do whatever you can to show the child that they are loved and help them to navigate the feelings they experience upon being told.
